Thursday, March 30, 2006

Flirty Thirty

Bicentennial Baby!

Thirty years ago at 1:33 p.m. in a hospital room in Brooklyn, I emerged from my mother's womb. I am looking forward to emerging more into my own in my 30s. Here's to the future!
...And while I'm marking the present and heralding the future, let me look back a moment into the past, to share a poem I wrote in 2nd grade:
I love Spring
I love you
The flowers bloom so beautiful
Spring has my birthday
And Spring has you.
Thanks for the nice birthday post, B!
I've always been a ham, no?

Monday, March 20, 2006

Happy Equinox

It's Spring!At 1:26 this afternoon, I sat in meditation concentrating on the dawn of a new Spring. I intend to express outwardly the Winter efforts I have practiced for being a better person connected to life this Spring. I think I have a lot of plans for how I want to be, but I’m only just starting to let those seedlings sprout through the ground and reach out to the world and sky around me.

Recently, I have thought about how I can more fully commit to being at peace and be able to share that positive feeling within my community. Too often, I have been bogged down with frustration and resentment for the negative parts of life that seem to impede upon peace. But simply negating those very true feelings of anger and sadness does not make them go away.

I think I have needed to pay attention to any emotion that arises, for they all serve a purpose. In fully acknowledging and expressing all feelings, I can concentrate my energy into the transformative process and let an authentic stability resonate within me, hopefully then extending out to all those who touch my life. This is something that cannot be forced. My hope is that if I let that intention for peace grow organically, I can then feel a true dynamic between myself and others. The moment I will a false way of being, even for the appearance of conviviality, I am no longer being true. I am out of sync with myself, and cannot then open to the possibility of being in genuine communication with others/the world. And then how can I expect that others will be honest with me?

And what I want more than anything else is to strive for truth in being and for that honesty to create a space filled with potential for communicating love.

For me, this cannot happen without proper boundaries. Maybe one day I will have enough strength within myself that I will never feel infringed upon, but for now I realize structure and limits in my interactions with the outside world are appropriate and necessary measures that allow my inner Self to develop naturally. These regulations sometimes feel a bit selfish, but I know if I concentrate on the end result, the means justify the end. It’s unfortunate that this process may confuse and alienate those whom I love.

But I truly believe when I feel I have the time and space to be authentic, I can then respond to whatever life brings my way appropriately, and not be out of sync. And from that special space, I can fully experience and share more love with the whole world.

On this day signalling rebirth, I dedicate my intention to my brother, Luis. He would have been 51 today. I am grateful for all the lessons your life and my grief over your death have shown me.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

12 hrs traipsing across capitol hill

i spent the day going from Senate to House offices (and back again) with a flyonthewall photographer, and my most immediate memory when unwinding with my feet up in the tub was the sound of metal detectors going off; only for the scanned person to back up, not remove anything from any pocket, nor change anything on their person whatsoever, walk through again and be greeted by silence.

how is that accurate or make us more secure?

i heard a lot of stories today and can tell you the grape (raisin) growers in California, the large, white men who sell peanuts (and have lost touch with their core decades ago), birkenstock-soled (and not consistently suit-and-tied) friends of the environment and pilots approaching the age of 60 have a lot of concern over how legislating is happening these days.

i only hope their stories make a difference. did they get to meet with the face in front of the workers? or did they not have the corporate mu$cle? i still think the convening of time zones and accents makes an ultimate difference in this life.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Another Reason Not to Use Sleeping Pills

Today's New York Times reports that Ambien unlocks a primitive desire to eat in some patients. Case studies describe how the drug's users sometimes sleepwalk into their kitchens, claw through their refrigerators like animals and consume calories ranging into the thousands.

The next morning, the night eaters remember nothing about their foraging. But they wake up to find telltale clues: mouthfuls of peanut butter, Tostitos in their beds, kitchen counters overflowing with flour, missing food, and even lighted ovens and stoves. Some are so embarrassed, they delay telling anyone, even as they gain weight.

One woman said she began taking Ambien and then noticed that food was missing from her refrigerator. She accused two nursing aides who were caring for her of stealing food. It was not until her son came to spend several nights that she realized that despite the body cast, she was getting up to eat while she was asleep. "During the day, I couldn't even make it to the bathroom by myself," Ms. Evans said.

The first night her son was there, he found her standing in the kitchen, body cast and all, frying bacon and eggs. The next night he found her eating a sandwich, Ms. Evans said, and sent her back to bed. Later that same night, her son arose to find her standing in the kitchen again. "I had turned the oven on," she recalled. "I store pots and pans in the oven and I had turned it to 500 degrees."

A wise man told me that if this happened with a street drug it would be banned immediately. Indeed. And I'll add that if you can't sleep, there's probably a lot of healthier alternatives than pharmaceuticals that can help you get some zzzs.

All of this reminds me of a great Rx ad from Stay Free.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

DCAC Gig Pix on Flickr

the foreign press rock out!
Took a much needed sick day and updated my Flickr page today with some pix from recent DC music gigs. The Dust Congress gigs at DCAC have been a blast and have convened a little DC rock'n'roll community. Check out more pix here.

No pictures of me staring at my bass, but I admit I really enjoyed performing live. I was nervous. So nervous that the day before, I found myself neurotically obsessing about all my perceived flaws in a way I hadn't since high school. Luckily, those superficial insecurities vanished as a plucked the open E of the first song of seahorse staircase's set and felt the bass drum behind me tremble as my notes got louder and more confident. I remember thinking such newbie thoughts as, 'wow, it's so much easier to play with the amp turned up!' Adrenaline and exhiliration flooded me. I was happy to share that moment in front of friends and neighbors.

I felt a kinship never before experienced with the other performers, knowing they all had once felt nervous and giddy like me. More so than that, I appreciate dust congress' efforts to bring together local artists and like-minded souls to celebrate a night of rock'n'roll.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Fourth Amendment luggage tape

4th Amendment luggage tape
This is so cool! I want some! I've had those creepy little notes left in my suitcase before. On a side note, after encountering numerous men with "TSA" on their jackets on the metro platform last Friday, I'm thinking it's time to update the Fugs' "CIA Man" to "TSA Man"